A Love Story
I became her. The girl I never thought I’d be. Weddings, promotions, babies – all happening…just not to me. Still single, hoping that what I believed in for both love and career was more than a well concocted plan never to be put in motion. With 35+ years in a loving example of marriage, my parents have been my definition of love. I knew eternal love was possible because I had seen it. I prayed, often impatiently, but held onto God’s promise. I’ve always believed that my purpose in life was uniquely tied to my husband. So I wasn’t dreaming about a wedding or a dress. I just wanted my husband. I believed that there was one man with my name tattooed on his heart and his on mine. I “simply” needed God to divinely lead me to my husband. Little did I know, it was this very desperation that would allow my future husband and me to see each other in a new light, after 11 years. This is not a simple “boy meets girl” love story. It is a complex story about unyielding patience, friendship, heartbreak, healing and devotion. It is a story about waiting for God’s perfect timing.
Life Brought Challenges
Shaun and I met on the campus of NC A&T SU in March of 2002. We saw each other around campus so the first conversation was easy. Quickly we became best friends, supporting each other in every endeavor. We broke up, made up and broke up again but never completely moved on. Life brought challenges, years went by, but the base of our friendship remained solid. When Shaun and I broke up after college, I really believed we had seen our best days. In the years that followed, I had more tantrums than can be accounted for. Not because Shaun and I weren’t together but because I wanted my husband. These years weren’t like the years that fly by in a movie montage. I felt these years, they hurt. Likewise Shaun was being challenged in his world. We were being broken down and built up for each other without knowing it.
Confirmation from God
When we first began dating, Shaun made a declaration that I was his wife. Whether we were broken up or together he held tight to this declaration. I loved him indescribably but couldn’t see what he was seeing. The beauty to this complexity is that our opposing feelings were actually what kept us going. Over all the years that I held back, Shaun’s consistent pursuit was the key. My waiting for confirmation from God was the lock. One could not function properly without the other. He was never “just” my husband. It was never that “simple”.
Timing is Everything
It feels like yesterday I was on my knees pleading to God to do something. Now I am on my knees, crying…if I had a thousand tongues, God I couldn’t thank you enough. If you are crying in need or crying with joy – stay there. Keep seeking Him, not him.