Love Yourself First
LovelyeSpirit by Kimberlye is a love website created to show women how to love yourself first. Through articles and stories of Love, Spirit, Faith, LifeStyle, Fashion and Beauty, these stories are sure to inspire women to love themselves as well as love others.
I have been in many relationships and it seems as if every time I learn to love myself, a man comes into my life. He adores me, he calls my mother to share how much he loves me. He is romantic, charming, caring and protecting all at the beginning. However it seems to change through the middle of the relationship. A shift takes place without me even knowing what happens. I see myself focus on doing everything I can to keep my man happy. I began to put my self last and seek all his needs first. I lose focus on my hopes and dreams and put his first. Soon I forget about hanging out with my friends and I only want to hang out with him.
This is when it all begins to unravel. Now he is no longer romantic ,charming and protecting but now more focused on complaining on what is wrong in the relationship. He is now complaining about my weight, however I am 31 years old , 4’5 feet tall, 125 pounds. I have the body of college freshman. However he sees that I have a gut. However this is the same gut that I had when he met me. Now I here him say, “maybe you should look into getting your teeth straightened.” I think to myself, this is the same smile that I had when you met me and you said I had a beautiful smile. Next, I am no longer a priority to spend time with but someone he speak to in a disrespectful manner. I lost it. I lost myself, I lost my values, I lost what was important. I lost my love for myself.
I am no longer in the relationship because I pulled myself out. I am happy about this because in the past I would stay in the relationship and wait for him to break up with me. Even though I cry, I get upset and I even say negative things in my mind, I am happy that I trusted myself to walk away from the relationship. I learned what I want in my husband. A man who has a relationship with God. A man who accepts me and adores me for who I am. A man who loves me unconditionally with encouraging and uplifting words for me. I want a man who loves himself and doesn’t lead by his pride.
I am grateful for the relationship because it inspired me to share with other women some of the mistakes I made. Sometimes you have to let go and let God. I don’t hate this man at all but I thank God for allowing me to see what I was doing to myself. I now take the time to put my dreams first to love God and love myself. I know it is cliche to say this, but if you don’t love yourself no one else will.